Time Alone

Goddess morning Royals 👑. First, give praise and worship to the all High.

There are moments in time when your life seems to be spiraling out of control or maybe in a place unfamiliar to you. A time when you are out of touch with reality and not sure how to separate fiction from facts, lies from the truth, right from wrong and so on and so forth. You know yourself and this doesn’t seem to be the norm or what you would do. This isn’t of your character, and if no one else can see it, you can. Your behavior is that of a savage, your mindset is of suicide, and your motivation is that of a murderer. Hate had fueled you with anger and destruction. You aren’t quite sure who you are nor what you’ve come to be, but deep down inside you know this isn’t you.

Step back and look within yourself to find that person you know you are. Don’t feed into the “this is exactly who you always were it just had to come out of you” bullshit. Take time alone and fight your demons. Close your ears and open your heart, feel your way back to life and love. Close your eyes and recall your memories of happier times of joy and passion. Remember how it made you feel. Allow that feeling to take control of your soul once again before you do something that you will regret, can’t take back, can’t stop yourself from doing that may cause you or someone else hurt and pain. Breathe in life and exhale death. Embrace love and shun hate. Kiss joy and refuse destruction. Hold hands with passion, compassion, empathy and sympathy. Leaving behind misery, pain, agony, devastation and horror. Goodbye darkness, and evil; for I have found the light. A path in which I got off and now have returned to for me and not for others, to redeem my soul and my destiny.

This was me! I had to regroup and get back on track. I had to come to terms with myself before I got in that place I knew I couldn’t come back from. Sometimes it takes a while but this time it took longer. I was in such a terrible state of mind and action. I lost focus of me. Never mind the love ones around me, I lost me. I had to find me because I had no idea who I was and where I was going. I sat in darkest room with silence until I was sure it was me who would emerge. I needed this for me in order to be me once again.

I speak from experience, #Depression is real and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Find what makes you whole and hold onto that when you are falling apart. I had to hold onto me because I know that I am a great mother, friend, wife, daughter, sister, and most of all great person all the way around. I have moments when all the evil in life comes to the surface and all I want is to destroy anyone and everything in my path. Then a little part of me, a little voice says, “This isn’t you! Find yourself and make you whole again.” That’s when I withdrawal from society and find myself, so I can be whole for my love ones and family, but mostly for myself.

I love me and wouldn’t have it any other way. I tell you all this because I know there is someone who is going through it right now and need to know they aren’t alone. Even though it feels like they are, they aren’t. Just take sometime and find yourself and if you need some help reach out, I’m always here to help. I know the feeling all to well. We all have some things we must fight through but if you can’t do it by yourself then reach out and ask for help. The right people are out here and are will to help. All you have to do is be willing to receive. It’s hard I know but don’t allow the darkness to win, fight back!

Sending you all kisses and love. #GoddessLove.

Unappreciated or Disrespected

Unappreciated or Disrespected

Goddess Morning Royals

I have several conversations with several family members over the years and it always come back to the same shit.  When doing something for someone, in return they feel unappreciated or disrespected.  I too use to feel this way but I had to let that part of me go and for these reasons.

  1. Am I doing this for this person for clout?
  2. Am I doing this to get something out of it?
  3. Am I doing this to be respected by this person?
  4. Am I doing this for me?

Asking myself these questions lead me to these answers

  1. No, what clout has to do with anything.  If I am always the helper what clout am I building on to get back.
  2. No, because I am a good person and can do something without needing something in return.
  3. No, if they didn’t respect me before I did what I did they damn sure isn’t going to do so afterwards.
  4. No, what am I getting out of the deal if no respect is attached to it, nothing is going to come back in return and it’s not like I am getting recognition for it.

I do things for people because I am generally a good person, but I am also not stupid.  If I believe or see that you are going to dog me or continue to want from to just to use me.  I will say no to things you may very well need and not just want.

I say all this because I see people’s hearts get broken because they did something for someone they cared for, loved, or just felt bad for, but their was an alternative motive behind their assistance.

  1. If I do this for you, you are going to owe me one.
  2. If I do this then when you get this you give me that.
  3. If I do this for you go have to go out with me.
  4. If I do this you and I are dating.
  5. If I do this for you, you have to do something special for me.
  6. If I do this for you, I’m going to need it back immediately.

Now let evaluate the “if” factor.

  • If the could give one back to you they wouldn’t ask you for one? Correct!  If that was they case then they could have just held out to get that one themselves.
  • If they get something and you want it and they don’t give it to you?  Do you have a fit or just take what you believe to be rightfully your?
  • If they wanted to go out with you I don’t think you would have to do them a favor first.  They would have liked you enough to just go out with you but that isn’t the case now is it.
  • If they wanted to date you they would have shown interest in you and not the favor they are asking of you.  They would have just use all of them to get all of what you offer, but they didn’t just asked for a favor.
  • Now come on, if they wanted to do something special for you they would have but they didn’t, but just asked you to do something for them.
  • If they could pay you back immediately, they would just wait it out but obviously they can’t pay you back immediately.

When you alternative motive is to get something back and they didn’t express that they were giving you something but what you gave them then I think you are the one who is disrespectful.  Stop looking for something in return!  When God see you gave from the heart he will be the only one giving you something back and ten fold.  If you are going to be a blessing to someone just be that blessing to them and stop looking for things in return.  God is your blessing and he knows that all your promises is going to come with fault, but that doesn’t stop him from giving.  Does it! NO, he gives without really getting anything in return.  All he ask is that you stay true to him and yourself.  I don’t think that is much to ask of you.  So the next time you are ask or in divine favor of someone else, please don’t allow an alternative motive to be behind it because it may not end in your favor at all.  If you can be appreciative of what God gives you then allow other to be appreciative of what God is allow you to give to them.  That mean you are blessed enough to give and divine enough to receive greater for your blessing.

Don’t feel unappreciated because they aren’t able to give back what you were able to give to them.  Just know that God saw it and that your greater blessing or equal blessing is on the way.  Don’t feel disrespected when you feel unappreciated because you gave without wanting anything in return in the beginning.  It is only when you have an alternative motive behind it, is when you feel disrespected and unappreciated.  Learn from your blessings and move on.

Sending you all love and kisses.  #GoddessLove