Time Alone

Goddess morning Royals 👑. First, give praise and worship to the all High.

There are moments in time when your life seems to be spiraling out of control or maybe in a place unfamiliar to you. A time when you are out of touch with reality and not sure how to separate fiction from facts, lies from the truth, right from wrong and so on and so forth. You know yourself and this doesn’t seem to be the norm or what you would do. This isn’t of your character, and if no one else can see it, you can. Your behavior is that of a savage, your mindset is of suicide, and your motivation is that of a murderer. Hate had fueled you with anger and destruction. You aren’t quite sure who you are nor what you’ve come to be, but deep down inside you know this isn’t you.

Step back and look within yourself to find that person you know you are. Don’t feed into the “this is exactly who you always were it just had to come out of you” bullshit. Take time alone and fight your demons. Close your ears and open your heart, feel your way back to life and love. Close your eyes and recall your memories of happier times of joy and passion. Remember how it made you feel. Allow that feeling to take control of your soul once again before you do something that you will regret, can’t take back, can’t stop yourself from doing that may cause you or someone else hurt and pain. Breathe in life and exhale death. Embrace love and shun hate. Kiss joy and refuse destruction. Hold hands with passion, compassion, empathy and sympathy. Leaving behind misery, pain, agony, devastation and horror. Goodbye darkness, and evil; for I have found the light. A path in which I got off and now have returned to for me and not for others, to redeem my soul and my destiny.

This was me! I had to regroup and get back on track. I had to come to terms with myself before I got in that place I knew I couldn’t come back from. Sometimes it takes a while but this time it took longer. I was in such a terrible state of mind and action. I lost focus of me. Never mind the love ones around me, I lost me. I had to find me because I had no idea who I was and where I was going. I sat in darkest room with silence until I was sure it was me who would emerge. I needed this for me in order to be me once again.

I speak from experience, #Depression is real and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Find what makes you whole and hold onto that when you are falling apart. I had to hold onto me because I know that I am a great mother, friend, wife, daughter, sister, and most of all great person all the way around. I have moments when all the evil in life comes to the surface and all I want is to destroy anyone and everything in my path. Then a little part of me, a little voice says, “This isn’t you! Find yourself and make you whole again.” That’s when I withdrawal from society and find myself, so I can be whole for my love ones and family, but mostly for myself.

I love me and wouldn’t have it any other way. I tell you all this because I know there is someone who is going through it right now and need to know they aren’t alone. Even though it feels like they are, they aren’t. Just take sometime and find yourself and if you need some help reach out, I’m always here to help. I know the feeling all to well. We all have some things we must fight through but if you can’t do it by yourself then reach out and ask for help. The right people are out here and are will to help. All you have to do is be willing to receive. It’s hard I know but don’t allow the darkness to win, fight back!

Sending you all kisses and love. #GoddessLove.

Family

Goddess morning Royals. First, give praise and worship to the all High.

We all have a family whether big or small; good or bad; blood or not. It could be someone or a group of people you grew up with or the real deal. See in my family I have 23 siblings, hundreds of cousins on my father’s side and equal as many on my mother’s side but I only beginning to realize the intensity of having so many family member. I thought having 23 siblings was tough imagine having hundreds of personalities to deal with and trying not to burst. See we are a close knit family and get even closer when we are threatened.

We all have our own lives yes but we can’t seem to stay out of each others lives as well. We fuss and fight sometimes with the physical but we always manage somehow to work it out. We dance, sing and eat together more often than most families. We share our history with our new generations. The one thing we haven’t done is abandoned one another. We have yet to see our family out on the streets or in rare form suffering. We weren’t raise to leave one another behind and so we don’t. We bare and grin but we don’t close our doors nor turn our backs on one another. We have our grandparents to thank for that passion and compassion. Even though there have been some abandonment involved by those who shouldn’t have the rest of the family picked up the slack.

We have nursed our sick and elder into health or made it comfortable in their last days with us. We have fed the whole family and didn’t care the cost. We have adopted other’s babies within the family so that no one else will have to do what our family can do. Some have slipped through the cracks but we never stopped looking for those ones. We teach our children the meaning of family with hopes that they continue on the traditions and love. We are an affectionate bunch and show it as well as say it. We gather in honor of graduations, great achievements, proud moments, births, as well as death. We are a enormous family but we have big hearts and large shoes to fill. So when we leave we pray that the ones we leave behind will remember us like we remember the one’s who have went on.

So on this day and everyday, I honor my family with love, encouragement, dedication, determination, motivation, reconciliation, passion, compassion, empathy and sympathy. I glorify them because of their achievements, persistence, ability to get back up when it seems as though the world has knocked them down. I praise them for not giving up on themselves and the others around them. I accept that some need more help than other and I don’t deem them less worthy of being praised because it take a lot of courage to ask for help or to receive it when you feel as though you don’t deserve it. I commend them on going after their goals and passion. To make life better for themselves and their families. To show our children that any and everything is possible if you just believe in yourself and allow other to believe in you as well. I cherish your dreams as if they were my own. Follow your heart to the fullest because we got your back.

Way to go and continue on FAMILY. I LOVE YOU FOR JUST BEING YOURSELF AND NEVER COMPRISING WHO YOU ARE FOR ANYONE.

Sending you all love and kisses. #GoddessLove

Getting To The Truth Thursday

Getting To The Truth Thursday

Goddess morning Royals. First, give praise and worship to the all High.

Lets jump straight into it shall we. How many of you all think you are in a one on one relationship only to find out you’re not? Well don’t be discourage because a lot of people found that out over the Valentine Day extravaganza, that they are in multiple situations. This is why this holiday doesn’t hold water to me. Yes I know I always get something and this year made no difference, but in reality if I didn’t get anything I wouldn’t be disappointed. I mean I get gifts and love 365 days a year so one day will not destroy me in any way.

What I do understand is that this is all that most have to look forward to and that is because this is what they allow. Is this your fault? Yes and no. I say that because you didn’t get involved in your life or your relationship. What you have been doing in belonging into a relationship or an endless marriage but not involved. I know you all do so much together, but how many of you share the deepest darkest secrets? How many of you know what your mate is doing when you decide to do you? Think about it, if you think you are getting away with it, so do she or he. When you think that you are in this committed relationship and find out that you are in a triangle web of lies is horrifying. When you find out that there is multiple partners involved is more devastating. When there is a child now present that wasn’t there when you met. When there is a boyfriend wherein you thought you were the husband or a girlfriend wherein you thought you vowed your life to him forever. When you find out an ex is a still ongoing thing and now you are the side piece. I see it all the time and much too often. How about when you find out that everyone knew but you? Then you blame everyone for not telling you about it. Please open your own damn eyes to see the truth and not hide behind what is given to you or what is being said to you. Yes, anyone can say that they love you but if they aren’t showing it then that’s where the problem lye. Why do you make it someone else’s business to get in your life, love and relationship? When they are there you then tell them to mind their business when isn’t beneficial to you. Then question their loyalty when it is hurtful only because you didn’t want to hear it in the beginning. Well my friends we all stand in our own way to shame the hurt and cover up the pain. We force ourselves to believe that there is no way this person could do this to me. “Not after all I have done for them!” “Not after all I have given up for them!” “Not after what I have given them!” “Not when I could have been with or loved, or done or did!” My question to you is why didn’t you just go with your instincts? Because you got in your own way and thought you could change a person instead of just moving to the side and allow nature to take it course. We have that I am better than; I can make you feel; I know I have; I am the right person syndrome and come to find out you weren’t. Your aren’t or weren’t the better; You couldn’t make them feel; You didn’t have; and of course they end up with someone else still.

The problem is no communication. People are afraid to ask the hard questions. Are you seeing someone else? Is there a new child I need to know about? Where is you loyalty and love in this relationship? Is there new skeletons I need to be aware of? Make bold statements like, I scheduled both of us for STD testing. I am going to the doctors with you and no I will not sit in the waiting room. There is no confidentiality when it comes to my health and we are married or in a committed relationship. I do it all the time. I tell my mate come go in the room with me and be there for the examination. There is no secrets when it come to me. If we are sharing bodily fluids we might as well share a doctors appointment, health report, dental visit, eye examination, or specialist visit. People say there are in a relationship and then do everything by themselves. Reason for uncertainty and secrecy. Not me I am an open book and invite my mate to all my appointments, even Gynecology because if anything is different then you made it different. I don’t play with my health, life, family, love, or money and yes in that order. So get all involved in your life, love, health, and family business. Because at the end of the day it matters to you as well. Do not rely on someone who barely holds their head up when speaking to you the truth to tell you the truth. Because I know that I am who I am and I am not here to make your feel better and me feel worse. I am not here to make life better for you while I live like shit. I am not here to play guessing games with my life, health, nor this relationship. I am here to better us and if there is no us then I surely know how to leave for the better. I am not going to throw dirt on your name because that isn’t in my character. I will however, turn a blind eye when you see the grass wasn’t greener. I will however, forgive you for your ignorance. I will however, continue to wish you the best of luck because you did me a favor. You help me dodge you; that bullet that is killing that current relationship. Thank you for showing me a different side of the mirror. I only saw the reflection I wanted to see and not the image that was stirring back.

Your life is in your hands so don’t just give someone the power of your freedom, love, health, journey, nor destiny. Don’t allow anyone to decide when any of it is over. You are your director, publicity, narrator, producer, writer and critic. So feel free to live your life like you think it should go and not how someone else views it. Get Involved in your relationships, marriage, family, home, and life. If you don’t someone else will!

Sending you all love and kisses. #GoddessLove

Timeless Tuesday…Back

Timeless Tuesday…Back

Goddess morning Royals. First, give praise and worship to the all High.

We haven’t explore a timeless moment in a while so I thought it would be nice to make a new memory. Today I am going to spend most of my time with my sister. I gave two of them necklaces that shows their position within my heart. It wasn’t much, but I like for them to know how much I care.

We are great when we are together. We laugh, sing, dance, and share stories of our past. We also talk about where we are heading for the future. We speak on politics, love, friendship, and relationships. We remember our parents whether its a good or bad memory, but we always show them love. We respect one another by remembering we all lost both parents and not just one of us. I remember our oldest brother for everyone since they were quite young when we loss him. We pay homage to the ancestor and their struggle to provide, shelter, and survive. We live by the code we all we got. We eat together and then play together. Yes, I know we’re up in age but that doesn’t stop us from being children at heart and showing our children a great time. We reminisce on the birth of the children we can remember and welcome the new ones we had no idea were coming or exist.

There is conflict within our circle but for that moment we put it aside so that everyone can enjoy being a family. We can be hateful when everyone has depart and back to their own lives, but in that moment in time, it is timeless and we cherish it like it is our last. We capture it because we don’t plan the next one, somehow it just happens. I guess its the ancestors telling we need a get together because from nowhere we emerge and from within we come together as one. The joy we have at those moment will never tell the story of what is really going on within our family and shall never tell the story to outsiders. Its not fake its just we can’t help but love one another as a whole, because together we all we need, and separately we all have. Family is all we have to look forward to and in a crisis it is all we want.

No matter what our bond is unbreakable and many have tried but all have failed. It is the same way for the rest of my family, especially my brothers, don’t mess with us because we are one when we have to be and greater when we need to be. We may not have much but we do have one another, there is nothing I desire to have more than my FAMILY. They are my TIMELESS LOVE. So no matter what is going on in your family be proud, honored, and blessed to have them for they are your heartbeat, air, thoughts, and most importantly, your DNA. Enjoy them while you have them.

Sending you all love and kisses. #GoddessLove

Determined By…

Determined By…

Goddess morning Royals. First give praise and worship to the all High.

How is your day determined? How is your life determined? How is your relationship determined?

We base so much off one thing that we almost destroy what could have been or what could be. When you wake in the morning and feel like shit do you determine that this is how the rest of your day is going to go? If so then you have no faith or trust in yourself. You have pretty much doomed your day before it can get started. I bet somehow you do the same thing pretty much with everything that doesn’t start right in your life. Shake that shit off and get your ass up whether feeling like crap or not. If you wake with a headache then take something for it. If you wake with and hangover do something about it. Your day cannot be determined by a mood, but a sickness, and even then sometimes you can beat that as well.

When your significant other mess up one time do you determine that this is the end or do you make a mends and move the hell on? I can see if it destroyed you within then yes you should move on, but don’t give up on having a significant other just because. We get in our heads that, he or she was the one, but if that was the case the feeling would have been reciprocal but it wasn’t, or else that person wouldn’t been able to destroy what you all had. So pack that in the past and move on but not with the intent to find a replacement but with the idea of happiness. Don’t just jump on the first thing that show promise explore that persons life, family, circle of friends, job, place, habits, likes, dislikes, and health. We have a habit of jumping the gun or creating a facade to please the next person thinking we did something wrong in the last relationship. Well don’t because they destroyed you not you destroyed them. You just have to find someone who will take on all your bad habits as well as good ones. Someone who will accept you for who you are and not who you pretend to be with them. So be yourself at all times and if they like it then yes, but if they have problems with it then work with them or work them out of your life. Don’t change so drastically that you don’t know who you are. Stop allowing one bad break up to determine who you are, how you going to be, and most importantly your happiness for love.

Finally, life can be a bitch but it also can be wonderful. In fact life is wonderful, but people make life a bitch. To be honest, birth is a blessing, but people who raise you, where you are raised, and people who birth you can make life a serious bitch and hard as hell to deal with. Don’t give up and don’t give in. Find peace within yourself that no one can destroy, so that you can see the beauty in being born, growing, living, and exploring life, love, and yes children. Just because life was so horrible doesn’t mean it continues when you take control of your destiny. You have the power to determine how the movie is played out. You are your own director, writer, producer. Remember everyone else is actors playing in your movie and you have the right to a great movie. People on the outside is just viewers, they don’t determine how the movie is played just how it is viewed. If you allow the critics to tear you down they will do just that and then copy your movie. You will be in a bad place and they will be in your space taking your life and making it their own. Hey your destiny is determined by you and you only. Start either writing it or rewriting it, it is all up to you.

Sending you love and kisses. #GoddessLove

Unfair Practice..Is It Just in the Workplace?

Unfair Practice..Is It Just in the Workplace?

Goddess morning Royals. First give praise and worship to the all High.

We hate when we feel like we are being discriminated against in the work place. Skipped over for a position you know you clearly deserve and worked hard for, especially when they promote the trainee and not the trainer. They tell you next time and you fall for it. They tell you but you don’t have the education to meet the requirements, and yes you fall for it.

Here’s the thing, if you didn’t have the education then how did you train someone to take that position over you? If you were educated enough for the position then why did they ask you to train? The truth of the matter is you were qualified for that position but something about you may not sit well with management. It might be your attitude, your religion, your nationality, your color, or creed. Now we know this is unfair practice and there is a law against unfair practice, correct!

Now take that same feeling and apply it to the people you deal with everyday or avoid everyday. Isn’t it the same? You don’t talk, interact or mingle with certain people for the same reasons. So unfair practice isn’t just in the work place, it is in our everyday lives and we practice it to almost everyone. Don’t say you don’t, because you do. We all do it and I’m not exception to the problem.

Here it is, we don’t like talking to homeless because of their smell or because we their looks. What about that person at work that smells different than you would like, don’t you do the same thing to them? How about the addict or “junkie” as some would put it? We don’t interact with them because they are high or nodding everywhere. Same go for the person in the office who is overweight or just eats a lot. Here is one, how about the people in the neighborhood you would consider not of your neighborhood standards, because they are loud, messy, or less fortunate than you. Well think about this they live on the block you do and well if you live high standards because of your neighborhood, then so do they. Especially, if there is no eviction notice on their door, I believe that means they are living at the same standards as you are. They may think that you are low maintenance and speak ill about you. What they do with their life is not for us to judge but for us to lend an ear or helping hand. They may just be calling out for help and we are so busy wrapped in our own discrimination bull to hear or see it. So stop judging and start helping.

The same way we judge people in society, bosses judge us in companies. So if you think you are above the people at home but below the people at work its because someone sees that in you. You displace racism, hatred, and disappointment, based on you attitude, walk, look, and actions. If you don’t want to be judged at work then don’t do it in society. Learn to accept people and you might just help someone from the ground to the floor and then to the sky, because it’s only limits and there is not tell how far they go. Next time you see someone down say something pleasant or give them a hand up and maybe that next position at work will be your reward. Maybe your be the boss and then employees will look to you for your fair practice.

Remember this what we practice at home goes with us into the workplace. If we teach our children unfair practice at home then they will accept it in the workplace, and school. Will they know when they are being treated unfair if we treat them like that at home. No, they will accept it for what it is and be miserable in their life, home, work or school. Look into your live and see if you do the same thing to people, especially your family and spouse. All I’m saying is treat people how you want to be treated and if not then prepare for how you treat people from those you respect. You will not like it because you will do whatever to please them but they will care less.

Sending you all love and kisses. #GoddessLove

What I Want and Need

Goddess morning Royals. First give praise and worship to the all High.

I want a life of happiness, love, joy, and peace. I want financial bliss and a home to leave for generations to come. I want a life wherein there is no war, hatred, or destruction. This day is so far fetched though but this is what I want. I want for my family to get along and be mindful of one another’s feelings. I want a world where my future grand and great grandchildren have a chance at life like everyone else on this planet. I want a day in the life of stability where there is no one who wants death as a part of their day. I want healthy lives for all and a disease free world but again this day is far fetched and unheard of. I want a world without judgement and everyone can be who they want to be as long as it doesn’t harm anyone. I want justice for all and not just for some. I want political warfare to be done and jobs wherein people are delighted to have one. I want a world with encouragement as a daily note given by all. I want technology not to control dinner tables or conversations when face to face with one another. I want a place where freedom of expression doesn’t mean degrading others just for yourself worth.

I need all this and a companion to share it all with for the rest of my life.

Sending you all love and kisses. #GoddessLove