Time Alone

Goddess morning Royals 👑. First, give praise and worship to the all High.

There are moments in time when your life seems to be spiraling out of control or maybe in a place unfamiliar to you. A time when you are out of touch with reality and not sure how to separate fiction from facts, lies from the truth, right from wrong and so on and so forth. You know yourself and this doesn’t seem to be the norm or what you would do. This isn’t of your character, and if no one else can see it, you can. Your behavior is that of a savage, your mindset is of suicide, and your motivation is that of a murderer. Hate had fueled you with anger and destruction. You aren’t quite sure who you are nor what you’ve come to be, but deep down inside you know this isn’t you.

Step back and look within yourself to find that person you know you are. Don’t feed into the “this is exactly who you always were it just had to come out of you” bullshit. Take time alone and fight your demons. Close your ears and open your heart, feel your way back to life and love. Close your eyes and recall your memories of happier times of joy and passion. Remember how it made you feel. Allow that feeling to take control of your soul once again before you do something that you will regret, can’t take back, can’t stop yourself from doing that may cause you or someone else hurt and pain. Breathe in life and exhale death. Embrace love and shun hate. Kiss joy and refuse destruction. Hold hands with passion, compassion, empathy and sympathy. Leaving behind misery, pain, agony, devastation and horror. Goodbye darkness, and evil; for I have found the light. A path in which I got off and now have returned to for me and not for others, to redeem my soul and my destiny.

This was me! I had to regroup and get back on track. I had to come to terms with myself before I got in that place I knew I couldn’t come back from. Sometimes it takes a while but this time it took longer. I was in such a terrible state of mind and action. I lost focus of me. Never mind the love ones around me, I lost me. I had to find me because I had no idea who I was and where I was going. I sat in darkest room with silence until I was sure it was me who would emerge. I needed this for me in order to be me once again.

I speak from experience, #Depression is real and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Find what makes you whole and hold onto that when you are falling apart. I had to hold onto me because I know that I am a great mother, friend, wife, daughter, sister, and most of all great person all the way around. I have moments when all the evil in life comes to the surface and all I want is to destroy anyone and everything in my path. Then a little part of me, a little voice says, “This isn’t you! Find yourself and make you whole again.” That’s when I withdrawal from society and find myself, so I can be whole for my love ones and family, but mostly for myself.

I love me and wouldn’t have it any other way. I tell you all this because I know there is someone who is going through it right now and need to know they aren’t alone. Even though it feels like they are, they aren’t. Just take sometime and find yourself and if you need some help reach out, I’m always here to help. I know the feeling all to well. We all have some things we must fight through but if you can’t do it by yourself then reach out and ask for help. The right people are out here and are will to help. All you have to do is be willing to receive. It’s hard I know but don’t allow the darkness to win, fight back!

Sending you all kisses and love. #GoddessLove.