Time Alone

Goddess morning Royals 👑. First, give praise and worship to the all High.

There are moments in time when your life seems to be spiraling out of control or maybe in a place unfamiliar to you. A time when you are out of touch with reality and not sure how to separate fiction from facts, lies from the truth, right from wrong and so on and so forth. You know yourself and this doesn’t seem to be the norm or what you would do. This isn’t of your character, and if no one else can see it, you can. Your behavior is that of a savage, your mindset is of suicide, and your motivation is that of a murderer. Hate had fueled you with anger and destruction. You aren’t quite sure who you are nor what you’ve come to be, but deep down inside you know this isn’t you.

Step back and look within yourself to find that person you know you are. Don’t feed into the “this is exactly who you always were it just had to come out of you” bullshit. Take time alone and fight your demons. Close your ears and open your heart, feel your way back to life and love. Close your eyes and recall your memories of happier times of joy and passion. Remember how it made you feel. Allow that feeling to take control of your soul once again before you do something that you will regret, can’t take back, can’t stop yourself from doing that may cause you or someone else hurt and pain. Breathe in life and exhale death. Embrace love and shun hate. Kiss joy and refuse destruction. Hold hands with passion, compassion, empathy and sympathy. Leaving behind misery, pain, agony, devastation and horror. Goodbye darkness, and evil; for I have found the light. A path in which I got off and now have returned to for me and not for others, to redeem my soul and my destiny.

This was me! I had to regroup and get back on track. I had to come to terms with myself before I got in that place I knew I couldn’t come back from. Sometimes it takes a while but this time it took longer. I was in such a terrible state of mind and action. I lost focus of me. Never mind the love ones around me, I lost me. I had to find me because I had no idea who I was and where I was going. I sat in darkest room with silence until I was sure it was me who would emerge. I needed this for me in order to be me once again.

I speak from experience, #Depression is real and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Find what makes you whole and hold onto that when you are falling apart. I had to hold onto me because I know that I am a great mother, friend, wife, daughter, sister, and most of all great person all the way around. I have moments when all the evil in life comes to the surface and all I want is to destroy anyone and everything in my path. Then a little part of me, a little voice says, “This isn’t you! Find yourself and make you whole again.” That’s when I withdrawal from society and find myself, so I can be whole for my love ones and family, but mostly for myself.

I love me and wouldn’t have it any other way. I tell you all this because I know there is someone who is going through it right now and need to know they aren’t alone. Even though it feels like they are, they aren’t. Just take sometime and find yourself and if you need some help reach out, I’m always here to help. I know the feeling all to well. We all have some things we must fight through but if you can’t do it by yourself then reach out and ask for help. The right people are out here and are will to help. All you have to do is be willing to receive. It’s hard I know but don’t allow the darkness to win, fight back!

Sending you all kisses and love. #GoddessLove.

Determined By…

Determined By…

Goddess morning Royals. First give praise and worship to the all High.

How is your day determined? How is your life determined? How is your relationship determined?

We base so much off one thing that we almost destroy what could have been or what could be. When you wake in the morning and feel like shit do you determine that this is how the rest of your day is going to go? If so then you have no faith or trust in yourself. You have pretty much doomed your day before it can get started. I bet somehow you do the same thing pretty much with everything that doesn’t start right in your life. Shake that shit off and get your ass up whether feeling like crap or not. If you wake with a headache then take something for it. If you wake with and hangover do something about it. Your day cannot be determined by a mood, but a sickness, and even then sometimes you can beat that as well.

When your significant other mess up one time do you determine that this is the end or do you make a mends and move the hell on? I can see if it destroyed you within then yes you should move on, but don’t give up on having a significant other just because. We get in our heads that, he or she was the one, but if that was the case the feeling would have been reciprocal but it wasn’t, or else that person wouldn’t been able to destroy what you all had. So pack that in the past and move on but not with the intent to find a replacement but with the idea of happiness. Don’t just jump on the first thing that show promise explore that persons life, family, circle of friends, job, place, habits, likes, dislikes, and health. We have a habit of jumping the gun or creating a facade to please the next person thinking we did something wrong in the last relationship. Well don’t because they destroyed you not you destroyed them. You just have to find someone who will take on all your bad habits as well as good ones. Someone who will accept you for who you are and not who you pretend to be with them. So be yourself at all times and if they like it then yes, but if they have problems with it then work with them or work them out of your life. Don’t change so drastically that you don’t know who you are. Stop allowing one bad break up to determine who you are, how you going to be, and most importantly your happiness for love.

Finally, life can be a bitch but it also can be wonderful. In fact life is wonderful, but people make life a bitch. To be honest, birth is a blessing, but people who raise you, where you are raised, and people who birth you can make life a serious bitch and hard as hell to deal with. Don’t give up and don’t give in. Find peace within yourself that no one can destroy, so that you can see the beauty in being born, growing, living, and exploring life, love, and yes children. Just because life was so horrible doesn’t mean it continues when you take control of your destiny. You have the power to determine how the movie is played out. You are your own director, writer, producer. Remember everyone else is actors playing in your movie and you have the right to a great movie. People on the outside is just viewers, they don’t determine how the movie is played just how it is viewed. If you allow the critics to tear you down they will do just that and then copy your movie. You will be in a bad place and they will be in your space taking your life and making it their own. Hey your destiny is determined by you and you only. Start either writing it or rewriting it, it is all up to you.

Sending you love and kisses. #GoddessLove

Deal With Your Own Shit

Deal With Your Own Shit

Goddess morning Royals.

I have been dealing with other people’s mess for as long as I can remember. I have intervened where I was needed and nothing more. I just go where I am allowed or asked to be. Once I have put my two cents in I try to leave it alone but parties involved don’t allow that to happen.

Everyone knows I raised my siblings from children to adults. I even call their children my nieces and nephews/glam babies. Honestly, I have my own problems that come up that I don’t really deal with because I am always dealing with someone else’s shit. Sometimes I don’t mind, but it be times when I just want to yell “DEAL WITH YOUR OWN SHIT!” What pisses me off the most is when they try to be as clueless as hell to their problems, but very knowledgeable about other’s problems. “Oh really, now you have an opinion about what and why?” Then it causes controversy and then there is more I have to defuse or settle. I just want people to at least try to handle it before you all bring me into it. When I get involved all parties are part of the problem and none of the solution. If they were then I wouldn’t be needed at all. The worst part about the whole thing is they want me to take side and when it doesn’t happen, I am the mean one or the bitch of the whole situation. Do you think I care at that point? “Hell NO!” I really don’t have cut cards with people who doesn’t address their issues as they have created their issues. I am a straight shooter and I shoot right from the hip no lie. I have told that I have a temper but I really don’t I just have an opinion that is strong, forceful and blunt. If you don’t like it then don’t ask for my advice, opinion or my intervention. It is 2019, and the way this world is going, we are heading straight to hell in a hand basket with gasoline draws on. Think its a game look out of your box and see what the world went through and still haven’t recovered for us to be about to head into the fire.

Where is the recovery point? When did the recovery happen? It didn’t we are just going to keep spiraling into hell until we get our shit together. Wake the fuck up and pay attention, we cannot keep allowing history to repeat itself. The results aren’t never good but always the same, DEATH of MILLIONS. Are we sure we are ready to say goodbye to millions, with the great chance that hundreds if not thousands will be family, friends or love ones so close you want to kill yourself as well. Enough is enough! Put on your grown folks pants and stand for something because we are failing and at a rapid rate. Extinction is clear and then what? NOTHING! There is not what after the extinction of man! There is no future in this direction so deal with the shit at hand so that there will be a future, even if you can’t see.


Sending you all love and kisses. #GoddessLove