Goddess morning Royals đź‘‘. First give praise and worship to the all High.
The healthiest way to make a relationship work is through communication, understanding, support, compassion, collaboration, and determination.
I know you all think I forgot loyalty and respect but I didn’t. You can be both of those things to someone but it can end up one sided. Here’s the thing if you converse with your partner but it is not reciprocated then you know there’s a problem. Somewhere the line of communication has been broken and there is no relationship if there’s no form of communication. That’s just two people taking up space in one place. When you walk in a room and your partner leaves, then there needs to be permanent distance because that relationship is dead. That means only one of you are still in a relationship the other is gone and trying to find a way out but isn’t sure how. He or she is trying to show you they are out of this relationship without words. Most wouldn’t take this as a form of communication but it is; it is their way of expressing themselves without arguing or stressing. The one who is receiving this message isn’t getting it. One needs words but the other speaks with actions. Soon that person will be gone or in another relationship but with no stability.
The understanding of one’s actions is louder than words can ever be spoken. When a man wants out he will cheat or stay away to show you he wants out. When a woman wants out she’ll communicate that to you unless she doesn’t have stability. Then she will stay but play the 50. She will cook for herself, clean her mess, dress and get out of your way. He will just shop and have clothes elsewhere. This isn’t an understanding at all. This is childish behavior and soon hate will be introduced into this house. Instead of just saying this relationship, marriage or union has ended they rather not be the one to lose out on what they have built together. So they suffer in silence together but separately. THIS IS DUMB! Splitting assets is the same as purchasing them. There will be loss so you might as well face that fact and get this over with. You can’t keep supporting one without open communication. Something always goes amiss.
If you think either of you want to continue to work to support a dead relationship think again? After a while she doesn’t want to pay bills in a house she can’t really call a home and he doesn’t want to pay bills for a woman to live in where he’s not feeling appreciated. What to do what to do? Either breakdown the assets and sell them or come together to figure out who gets what and if it is an undecided item; it is an investment piece for profit. Here’s is where the PROBLEM always occur. They both united because of their financial situations, but became so dependent on one another they forgot about that issue. Then REALITY hits them tremendously at the same time or at different times but it hits and they come to realize how they came to be a domestic couple in the beginning. Neither makes enough to live in this economy alone. Now the BARGAINING or BICKERING begins. The lifestyle they have become accustomed to is because they make enough together to afford such. Now that their union is in shambles they have no idea what to do. 🤔 Didn’t they both have other opportunities before they came to this reality? Now that their “INDEPENDENCE” is a reality check they understand that they were each other’s dependents.
So now they need to seek either compassion from one another for one another or they need to hope others have it for them. Here’s the thing people have time for you when you are in good standards but when shit hits the fan it’s a different story. Now they are in search of compassion and empathy from others until their situations become better. HONESTLY, they could just have compassion for one another and stay where they are to reconcile their differences. They don’t have to be in a relationship to live together. All they have to do is set boundaries and have a line of communication, and respect for each other space. But instead of thinking outside the box they are going to argue this situation out and now belittle each other for their own selfish behavior. Now you see why respect and loyalty wasn’t an initial thought but communication was, for this reason right here. Now neither feels as though they should leave and hate becomes the bond that holds them together to maintain financial stability. GO FIGURE!
When all they had to do was collaborate on how they are going to live as civilized people in a place that they are bother familiar with. Where there was once love, “honesty”, trust, happiness, joy and peace; now there hate, anger, distrust, misery, and despair. WHY? It doesn’t have to be! Treat your situation like a project that you all have been assigned to in order to keep your sanity, home, and status. Collaborate on how to continue to live together without getting evicted, fired, laid off, arrested, or hurt anymore than you already are. Everyday millions of people work side by side with people they couldn’t care less about only to ensure their position is secured. The only difference is you all have shared love, life, and laughter. This is going to be a challenge because communication was an issue as a couple but note it is a necessity as roommates. Where you all knew that if one didn’t have it the other covered it wasn’t an issue but now it is. There is no obligation to each other in this current situation or is it? THINK! If that mentality isn’t applied you both lose out on the living space, utilities, and deposit if evicted not to mention the effect it would have on your credit score.
Now more than ever you have to be determined to be all in or leave now to prevent disaster and chaos from destroying your life. Even though you all aren’t in a relationship any longer doesn’t mean less needs to happen. NOTES helps and is a great form of communication, therapy and support. Even though it isn’t verbal it is still a very powerful tool for communicating your feelings, emotions, thoughts and responsibilities to one another; as well as a legal framework for providing and preventing a lawsuit from ensuing. Just remember date, time, and never discard them for your own protection.
MESSY is when others becomes a factor. Meaning new relationships forms and old feelings hasn’t been resolved because of the lack of communication. Then the worst happens the new relationships become serious and the obligation is in trouble. Either she wants the house for her and her new friend or vice versa or bigger than that. The new partners want the one of you to move in with them because it is just that serious. Instead of reflecting on your current situation and how that turned out, you both agree. Why not take a leap of faith? How many times can you fuck up in a relationship? Infinite! But I digress. 🫥 Anyway one of you goes the distance and marriage is on the table, someone always feels salty behind this action. For the life of me I don’t understand why?! It didn’t work between the two of you but you want to know why b the other person and not you? Please do yourself a favor and leave that alone and keep your dignity and sanity. Don’t go back down memory lane because you might find out something about yourself you were avoiding. Not that you didn’t know but avoiding to keep from believing the truth about yourself. If you know then why ask?
Sending you all love and hugs. # GoddessLove
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