Goddess morning Royals. First, give praise and worship to the all High.
Have you ever been so tired, so overwhelmed, so exhausted that you can’t deal and won’t deal with anything? That’s how I am feeling this morning. It has been a draining weekend to the point I don’t want to deal with people, the truck, the animals, the idea of cooking, etc, I mean anything! The worst part is I didn’t even want to blog today but I use writing as a stress reliever as well as a coping mechanism. It seems to be the way I can function when I wake with days like this bringing me down. School is out and there’s no work, it is going to be a hecked day and well I am going to have to pull out of the tricks I know to make it through this day with a smile so my family won’t be able to tell it isn’t a good day for me.
Unfortunately, I suffer from these days more than I am willing to admit. I play the strong mother, wife, cousin, sister, grandmother, best friend a lot, but if they only knew how stressed or overwhelmed I be most of the time. I mean it has been 75% of my life that I have been on this rock, I lived in this madness. I live in a dark place and for the most part if I don’t write about it, I need to sleep it off. I never went a whole day with this feeling because it scares me so. I am afraid of how others will feel if they saw me from start to finish. No I am not worried about their reactions, but my actions, like I said, dark place. So when it gets to be too much I rest and regroup so I can wake to a better me. It is one of my ways of destressing, and being able to operate efficencially with others. Instead of blowing up or blowing things out of proportion when someone says something that strikes me as offensive or demeaning.
It is better than acting first and then worrying about the consequences later. I have a family to continue on for so why throw it away because someone else is having a bad day as well. I just remove myself from people and give myself the necessary space, time and rest needed to keep myself out of harm’s way or from harming anyone mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually. Why be that person when I am the one having the bad day, not them? Why should I spread my evil and hatred or stress onto others to make them match my feelings at the time? It isn’t right and I know it, if no one else knows it. I am responsible for me and not anyone else. It is on me.
Sending you all love and kisses. #GoddessLove