Timeless Tuesday! How To Communicate With Your Mate?

Goddess morning Royals. First, give praise and worship to the all High.

Communication is the key to any relationship, whether it is family (mom to daughter, father to son, brother to sister, aunt to nephew, uncle to niece, cousin to cousin, matriarch to family, or patriarch to family), friends, marriage, work, education or etc. This isn’t about them but about your relationship with your partner or mate. This is about keeping the line of communication open so that you all can grow within your relationship, love and connection. The only way to do it is with a clear conscious and a profound heart. If there is unclear motive it will not go well for either party. Motive simple mean that you want the person to get something from the conversation, not you gaining something for yourself from it. Talking Points:

  1. Compromise/adapt your behavior or activity. Never compromise or prevert your morals, will spirit (beliefs)
  2. Never say that one idea/behavior is better than another.
  3. The idea/behavior that furthers justice, order, balance, harmony, reciprocity, correctness is the best.
  4. Never allow a third party (friend, parent, couple, religion) to get between you and your mate.
  5. Communicate directly to each other. Don’t refer to he/she said, they said, according to, etc.
  6. Try not to use slang words and unnecessary words in order to keep communication clear. Sentences should be short and to the point.
  7. Do not use your mate for entertainment. Meaning no audience is needed.
  8. You should be your best entertainment. Meaning you should be the one paying attention and hearing what is being said.
  9. Do not try to convert your mate from their religion/idea/diet/behavior. If he/she is the devil you knew that before it got this far. The signs were clear.
  10. Do not constantly rephrase/restate your position.
  11. State your position and your reasons/feelings for your position and how it serves justice, order, balance, harmony, reciprocity, correctness.
  12. Do not constantly put down, criticize or make unfavorable remarks about your mate’s feelings/behavior. Broken, traumatized mates have a low tolerance for frustration, failure, pain, conflict and have low self-esteem, patience and attention.
  13. Broken trauma has taught black people to view failures/conflicts as indicating that something is spiritually, emotionally, or karmic wrong with them. The failure/conflict is built into “society”. It is used to manipulate and control. A broken black person tends to want to be punished or seek approval and translate everything to be emotional.
  14. Direct anger towards a specific negative situation or feeling not towards your mate.
  15. Do not argue about how you are arguing.
  16. Only a behavior or idea can be wrong. Your mate is not wrong. Say you are talking/anger about the wrong behavior/idea of your mate.
  17. You can be mixed up or upset about your thoughts on a situation, subject, or person. This does not mean that the point you are making is not valid.
  18. it is alright to be upset or confused as talking can help you get rid of anger and confusion and arrive at a clear point.
  19. You can be upset while talking about a problem, but clear about the answer to the problem.
  20. You give power to words and then feel powerless.
  21. Words take on different meaning based upon the tone, attitude and emotions while using them. Therefore, you may need to translate an obvious “word” definition.
  22. If you are intelligent enough to ask a question, then you are intelligent enough to accept an answer. You may not understand or agree with the answer.
  23. Pause after you say something. Allow the person to answer to say “uh, huh,” etc.

No one wants their feelings hurt or diminished during the line of communication so be aware of how you speak to your mate so when it is their turn your don’t feel like it is revengeful or an attack because of what or how you spoke when it was your turn.

Sending you all love and kisses. #GoddessLove.

Published by missk22

I am a free spirit! Speak my mind a lot. Published author! Business & Psychology major! AA in Healthcare Administration; BBA in Accounting/Finance. Working on my masters in Psychology. Mother, hairstylist, nail technician and so much more.

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