The Family Bond! Chapter 1…Segment 6.

Goddess morning Royals. First, give worship or praise to the all High.

I know myself, whether my parents wanted to be believed it or not, had plenty of issues and problems.  Because, I was always a thinker, my parents told me it was all in my head.  I was soon convinced that it was all in head but when things happened and my parents was upset, I told them now it is all in reality, and no longer in my head.  This caused me to get beatings but that didn’t solve nor resolve any issues or concerns that I was experiencing.  My parents then wanted to blame everything on someone else instead of taking the blame themselves.   I took the blame and the ass whipping so why was it so hard for them to take a little credit for not listening to me in the first place?  Because then they would have to admit to themselves that they had poor parenting skills.  In reality, “society” didn’t have to tell them this I could have given them this information from my standpoint.  I wish I could say that I had a great childhood but then I would be lying to myself.  Like I said before it was good on the outside but dreadful on the inside.  I lived with my parents most of my childhood and then I stayed with my Godparents other times.  I wish I could say it was much different there but also, I would be lying.  The difference was no drugs or people running in and out all times of the night.  The same was all the fussing and cursing.  No wonder when I was young I could curse like a sailor, it was already embedded in my psyche.

People “society” say all we can do is our best and the rest is up to them.  If that was the case the village was dead long before it began, but that isn’t the case, is it?  We as black parents know that when the road gets rough for our children or family we pull together and find a better way.  We don’t turn our backs on our own kind but we step up to the plate and bat, praying for a home run.  For those families that don’t is why I am writing this book.  Those rips in the very fiber of the family bond is the reason that “society” moves into your psyche and take over.  We have to want to be a family in order to continue on in the black communities as a family.  Right now, “society” has torn the very fiber of the family values, code, honor, trust, love and relationship from the household.  The glue has come loose and the structure is starting to shake, brick by brick, nail by nail, and wall by wall, the black family and community is coming down.  It’s not completely down but it is on shaky ground and the very hate that we now are carrying for one another is the same quake that making it a natural disaster area of hell for all. 

How and when did this start is the question?  I may not have all the answers but I have a theory.  This will open your eyes and for most you may already know this or more than this, but it is worth a try if this mean we get back a bond that should have never been broken.

So back in the day roughly around the early 1700’s or so, black families consist of man, woman, child, plus a grandparent or two.  Why the grandparents, because back then the grandparents were always the wisdom and head of the house, even though they gave the responsibility to the man, they still were the wisdom.  Where do you think you learned of your heritage and understood why the struggle of all those before were important?  Your grandparents taught your parents and now have time and patient to teach you as well. 

See patience is a thing of the past these days.  Everyone wants what they want and they want it now.  Well if you don’t wait on your turn then you are going to miss what is really for you.  You will bypass importance and only receive what you want.  Somehow that have been failing a lot of you and then you want to blame someone but, in your life, you have no one else to blame but you.  So, why am I blaming “society” right? I’m not!  I am taking the blame for people of color because they allowed “society” to enter the psyche and destroy what they knew to be true. Now they are filled with lies, hatred, false hope, and anger but for no reason at all. When all they really have to do is pay attention to the elders and learn from what they teach.  Now days children disrespect what they have to teach and offer, to the point of no return.    

I remember when there was no disrespecting the elders of the family because your disrespect led to punishment by whippings.  Yes, dad would take you out back and give you a switching you would never forget.  Even though he didn’t want to you had to be taught a lesson on manners and minding them. I have noticed that black people disrespect what they don’t know and what they refuse to believe in as far as they are concerned.

Usually it only took the one, because he made sure the understanding was clear.  Your bottom was sore for a while but you thought long and hard before you spoke and what was to come out of your mouth.  This might have silenced children but they knew when and where to speak.  They knew their place and when to step out of it and with whom.

This has always been an unwritten law of the black people.

You earned your right to be noticed by properly implementing your input and where needed.  Now days children curse the parents and elderly as if they were dogs or less than.  The children are telling the parents and the grandparents what to do and how to do.  They also are defining them by not doing what they are told.  They speak when no one is speaking to them.  They voice their opinions to the wrong people and at the wrong time.  They even tell them what time they will be in the house and not where they are going.  Where’s the manners?! Where’s the respect?! Where’s the discipline?! Gone!  Why?  I think because no one is the authoritative figures no longer and children have no clue on how to act when they haven’t been properly taught.  Once again, they learn from sight.  If you do it, they will want to do it.  They learn from what they hear, if you say it then they will say it.  They are the sponges that you don’t want them to be in the time you are being defiant, but they are they pick up on everything we as parents do, even when don’t want them to.  They don’t use it on us until they have used it in the streets and gotten away with it.  Remember our children are a direct reflection of us and everything we do.  When they are out of your sight and being ill-mannered, where do you think they got that from?  

They’re not being properly educated not taught manners.  Our people believe ignorance is bliss but it isn’t.  See in the early day, black family’s Dads was in the house.  Welcome to 1933, the market crashed but because black people on had but so much then lost a lot.  This hurt them because they were really just getting started and what they were making now was gone.  Times got hard and mothers and father were now in the workforce doing what had to be done in order to provide for the family.  Because women were still the minority they couldn’t work and make as much as a man could and jobs were far and few.  What they did in their own homes became work for “society” in their homes.  Roughly around the sixty’s men started disappearing from homes.  These left women to do what they had to do in order to provide.  If what they knew was laying on their backs then this was what they did to provide for their families.  The sixties were about peace and war which is a conflict for all to comprehend.

Sending you all love and kisses. #GoddessLove


Published by missk22

I am a free spirit! Speak my mind a lot. Published author! Business & Psychology major! AA in Healthcare Administration; BBA in Accounting/Finance. Working on my masters in Psychology. Mother, hairstylist, nail technician and so much more.

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