Goddess morning Royals. First, give praise and worship to the all High.
As for my family and I, we been through it all, but who family hasn’t. We grew up in East Baltimore in a three-bedroom, row home, with both of our parents in the house. Unlike most of my secondary family, but their parents were still in their lives in one way or another. I would say I’m thankful for growing up with two parents but that would be a lie. In all honesty, my life was a slight horror film that hasn’t been reviewed by the critics and may never be viewed by anyone more than myself. I see life in a whole different eye sight. I have never been a follower so that will never be a part of my story, but I have been accused of being more than I needed to be at times. Whatever that mean?
I haven’t a clue of giving people the satisfaction of controlling my existence nor my presence in any given moment. I did that enough when I was a child and allowed my parent the satisfaction of my joy and happiness. Yes, I grinned and bared it because I had to but in my adult life it will never be a factor of mine. Please, to give someone my joy is like giving someone my soul in the palm of their hands and no one is that powerful to my existence anymore.
I have twenty-four siblings, yes twenty-four but I was raised with mother’s eight, most of my cousins from both sides of the family including my aunts and uncles. Yes, both sides of my grandparents and wonderful Godmothers. I cannot forget the wonderful ladies who found prayer and love for my siblings and I, for giving my mother their hard-earned time, love and support in raising and feed us. I am most grateful for knowing them, because their generosity is what gave me hope in uplifting the next person, whether as a child or an adult.
But even with all that, it still wasn’t a fairy tale. However, we were a tight knit family with hell of problems. What kept it all together for me was my Grandfather Robert. We believed in our hearts as children, the world around us is better than what we are seeing through our eyes and pain. Our experience wasn’t met without difficulty but we struggled together and made it through. We as children spent a lot of time together and there were times when we had our little arguments based off our parent’s arguments but we moved on and made our living arrangements work. Every day, I prayed for my own bed and own space. I’m quite sure I wasn’t the only one. We had a lot to pray for and even more to be thankful for in our lives. There were times when we went to sleep in the dark and woke to the dark and never knew when we were going to see light again. I’m not talking about morning but light, television, electricity of any kind. For me when anything went wrong Granddad was there to fix all my problems and bond this family together again as one. My “Superhero” was dyeing and I had no idea, but he wouldn’t allow me to see it either. I saw him down a few times, but in my mind, I didn’t want to believe that my “Superman” could ever be hurt, but like the fictional character “kryptonite” was killing him slowly.
What was his kryptonite; Brain Cancer? This Six foot something odd inches man was one of the lucky ones to get it right. He was until, the Higher Power called him home. He was a family man in every sense of the word. He did it all; took care of his family, paid bills, worked, cooked, cleaned and raised six children by himself.
Well that is after my Grandmother ran off with his best friend, but that another book.
I give Great Grandma Bessie and Great Granddad Israel along with the Creator the praise and glory for such a great man. He may not have had everything but he gave them a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs, shoes on their feet and love from his soul. Like I said I was raised in a house with all my family. It was crowded but it was rewarding. There were days when we struggled but there were days when life looked good from my eyes. I wouldn’t say we had the best life but I wouldn’t say it was the worst either. It was days when we didn’t know where our next was coming from but being with this family made things like that vanish from my mind. Couldn’t expect much we grew up in a poverty-stricken neighborhood. Everyone had some sort of issue, whether it was drugs, hunger, health, mental, murder, rape, domestic violence or otherwise, but we were a community still.
I was ashamed that we relied on public assistance to help us but as I looked around my neighborhood so did everyone else. Then I had the chance to journey outside my environment and realized that we are being played like a violin. Public assistance was just a way to keep my family in check. It was a system designed to keep my family from advancing mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. It was put in place to help you get up, no it is put in place and designed to keep you down. They get all in your business and never get out. They know so much about you that you have to go to them to remember who the hell you are.
I know this sounds strange but it is true. You just spend their money and then when they need something from you could can’t say no because they are the ones that gave you all you have. See I see the plan and understand the goal of “society.” Yes, they allow you to have but only enough that they make you miserable and aware that they control your every movement. It is very depressing to think that you have something just to realize you have nothing.
The craziest part of it all is that both of my parents had jobs but still relied on the system to carry them as well as us. We lived poor as hell but had money, well enough to live better than how we were living. My parents became a victim of “society’s” hold. Then when “society” pushed their disease into our neighborhoods and what the next man was doing was the trend, my parents and other family members became entrapped in the web of seduction, called “Drugs.” This is one powerful bitch and “society” knew it.
I wish I could say it was a product of the sixty’s flowing into the 70’s; 80’s and 90’s but I would be lying. For the most part Drugs has been an epidemic in poverty-stricken neighborhoods long before it tidal waved through Baltimore City. It just when it hit us, it quickly manifested out of control. The war had begun and not on crime or drugs but on Baltimore’s communities and all its glory. Slowly the community support and happiness died and the drugs were to blame. People had lost focus of what family was and had no chances or notion of turning it around.
“Society” blamed the hippies and needed the world to jump on board so the fingers would dare point to them. No, it was just the way those hippie babies were programmed by the music, the oppression, and the life style they were forced to endure. War was and continue to be a terrible thing but we know that isn’t where all the blame lay. This isn’t all the blame; we have to look at the family as a whole and not as just one individual. In fact, let’s see it like this.
Your body have many components but you need them all to be whole, but not all of them to function properly. That is the same thing “society” figured out when they decided to break the family into pieces. You know without the major organs there is no way to survive therefore they came up with artificial parts to replace the originals. They didn’t function as well as the one you were born with but they function with the help of someone or something else to assist its functionality. Correct! Now that is what “society have done they took away the major components of the family and replaced them with generics just so what was left could function. Where you had both parents, grandparents, cousins, nieces, nephews, aunts and uncles are now like Pangaea broken into other parts of the world. What was whole, is now in piece and being picked apart like a scab. If you pull to hard it will bleed but if you pull little at a time, then you can get the scab off without hurting anyone, so they thought or really didn’t care. You be the judge!
Sending you all love and kisses. #GoddessLove
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