People misunderstand that I am a child; a very special child, but a child nevertheless. Each and every day I try to do my best. I get out of bed the same way they do, feet first on the floor and into my slippers too. I do all the things normal people do, but with the help or aide of my sisters and mother true. It’s not a lot of things I can do by myself, but my mom helps me to pray to God every day for my health. I might be mischievous sometimes, but tries to be good. People say, “He is bad,” No I am a child that is misunderstood.
People misunderstand the things I cannot do to be bad. When they say that, it just makes me mad. My temper is sometime unexplainable, but deep down inside I am really loveable. They say he is bad as he can be, but they haven’t been through the things I have you see. I would have been done home, if God hadn’t shined his light on me. I just tried to live my life, because God allowed me back twice. But I am still here bad or good. In my heart, my mind, my body and soul just misunderstood.
Dedication: September 23, 2002
My son is my world along with his sister. The time we share is priceless. Sometimes he can be a little difficult to deal with, but he is still my little boy, always and forever. Love you Ryheem.
I woke up this morning feeling good about life, because last night I thought I was someone’s wife.
Said Good Morning just can’t remember to whom.
She/he said “I love you, boo.”
Now I do have a lot of friends, three relationships I cannot end.
They keep me happy for different reasons.
One is a man who helps out with life; wouldn’t mine me being his wife.
The second man who is doing all he can, to make me his woman.
The third a woman who holds the cards to my heart.
Who don’t know what to do, or how to be in charge.
I have love for all three, but confused as to who wife I should be – time is invested in all three.
Life is not simple for me.
How do I let go when my heart is into all you see?
This triangle is fucking with me.
Keep them all I say, until they want to pull away.
Confused wife fucked up life.
Devotion: September 27, 2002
This might seem wrong, but they know about each other and have no one complained to me about it yet. They do however, have options to get out while the getting is good. I don’t think that either one wants for the other to have me all to themselves. So, I am in this triangle but don’t want to let go myself.
It took some time to see how much you have grown. I am really proud that you stand on your own. Just take a minute and realize who you are and have become a very developed woman.
It has been some years since that day you walked into my life then walked out not once but twice.
I can’t have you do that anymore. I am not trying to even the score.
Especially when I say this; this woman here you are sure to miss.
Take my blessings why don’t you. I guess you thought my heart wasn’t true.
You were sure my heart could only belong to a man, so you took you love and ran.
In life you chose your own path. You thought life with me wouldn’t last.
A few days, months, years or a life time, you couldn’t hang in there until you were mine, or yet a better part of me. You are developed woman set free.
Unclaimed as is our relationship isn’t that a shame. Free to believe, free to do as you please, but just not with me.
My heart hurts, but I cannot show you that, my love for you is trapped.
Black holes keep it in the dark with no walls or exits. All I can do is write this message.
Seal it with a kiss and place it in a bottle sends it with love and wait patiently for a signal from above. With your eyes opened wide and your soul set free. Wish that you will see that I am here where you need me to be.
Developed woman, Shay set free.
Dedication: October 5, 2002
Shay is the woman and love of my life. You hurt my feelings and broke my heart twice, but I will never allow another to do it again. Once by a female is enough so you will always be the one who got away with all the love for another woman that I can handle. Afraid of what people say, she is not the one for me. She is scared to experience true love but at the same time still not ready for her own life style, how can I expect her to adapt to mine.
The sun, the moon, the earth growing beneath my feet, cannot compete with the love that makes my heart beat.
The water I drink, the thoughts I think, with the eyes that winks and blinks, to the man who takes two looks.
The hollers and whistles she receives, for every moment spent for the time lost, for every second of the day, your spirit and love will carry me all the way.
Will meet you at a place only you and I know, whether it’s up high or down low it doesn’t matter, as long as we are together.
Through the storms and into the fire; Shay love gets me hotter and hotter.
A thick chick, nice breast, thick, thick, thick!
Large hips, sexy lips!
Shay love makes me whipped. Take in her scent, what a treat? I am sure this woman, you will love to meet.
Dedication: October 5, 2002
Shay what will do with you. This relationship is not working out for me. You being in Louisiana and me here in Maryland, long distance isn’t something that we could have kept with the love we have for one another. Sorry love, it hurts more when there is no one close to share it with.
Book can be brought at Amazon.com under the name of Kenya Denise Spann. #Support