The Family Bond! Chapter 4…Segment 2.

Goddess morning Royals. First, give praise and worship to the all High.

When we are living in dangerous situations for ourselves ladies, our children are living in that same danger.  Please don’t be one of those so-called “heroes” that can’t save yourself but think that they can save their children.  It really doesn’t work like that.  If you think it does, then save them as soon as you are in danger and not the moment you suspect that they are in danger.  Usually, that’s when it is too late to save anyone, even yourself.

It will never be an easy process, but the healing must start somewhere.  First the monsters need to be put away or down.  No, I’m not telling anyone to kill anyone.  This is not the solution because to them that will satisfy their demons.

Secondly, both need help to restore themselves, after all no one wakes up and say I’ll think I’ll be a rapist, or an abuser today.  If they do then, they need to be thrown in front of a firing square with all barrels sending him/her to hell with fire and desire.

Last forgiveness, the victim needs to know this isn’t her fault.  This isn’t or wasn’t your invitation to the rest of your life.  Taking your life back is a process that is a road hard traveled, but the reward of not having to look over your shoulder and watch your back for the person that violated you is a blessing in its own rights.  Women are more powerful than people think.  A lot us grin and bear the abuse and never show a sign of it in front of anyone, but behind closed doors we are a mess.  Especially, when it comes to our children, we will not allow them to see what the monster did to us but for those who have escaped the horror physically, our minds and eyes are always in protection mode around our children.  I think our experiences make us more protective than they can handle.  Instead of explaining to them why we are so protective we turn our anger out onto them. 

I vowed to always let my children know of my pain, so they will not become victims of it, because I know of my horror.  I know of my capabilities and what I can do destructively, only because I allowed it to manifest within me and have a place to call home.  I know that I need to no longer shelter my violator’s pain while trying to cover up the shame. I had to set it free before it destroyed me from within.  I carried it around too long and lived angry all day every day, but for what so he could still have power over me.  No more!

Remember we are no longer victims and will no longer play the victim role for that make us more vulnerable to other predators and womanizers.  We stand today with our scars, not afraid to show them but showing them because we are survivors of them and what they represent.

Sending you all kisses and love. #GoddessLove

Timeless Tuesday

Once again Goddess morning Royals. We all know to give praise and worship to the all High.

I am in good spirits these days. I am excited about several movements in my life with my family. They are doing well and we are spending more time together without getting on each other nerves. Trust me that is a blessing in itself.

Today though, we are getting ready for the end of summer festivals wherein we will discuss the very last week of summer. We try do something special everyday for that last week, then do a cookout for Labor Day. So today is lots of planning and yes everyone’s input matters. Because it is for the children we mostly listen to what they want to do because it is the end of summer for them. We try to make returning to school less of a drag and more of an adventure, even for those attending High School.

We go through a check list of things to do and school supplies. We also make feeding someone or a family less fortunate than ourselves a priority not an option. We go through all the winter things that no longer fits so we can give them to a family in need of winter items. It may sound like nothing but to us it is very important because we understand at any given day it could be us on the other end. Paying it forward it the right thing to do and it make others feel good to know someone cares.

What will be on your agenda for your Timeless Tuesday?

Sending you all love and kisses. #GoddessLove

The Family Bond! Chapter 4…Segment 1.

Goddess morning Royals. First give praise and worship to the all High.

Chapter 4.  The Raping of the Woman’s Morals and Values

As a black woman, I know too often of hurt and pain of what rape victims feel.  We aren’t just raped physically but mentally as well.

Being a young girl at the tender age of twelve and being raped was like dying.  I just knew life was over for me, but luckily someone felt my pain and help me through it.  Not all the women and children of this world have that kind of support in their lives, but I did and now I am offering it to those who have been or are in this position.  The Higher Power had truly blessed me with my Granddad.  It was like my mind was still being deceived, my heart ripped out, my soul crushed and my spirit demolished.  For every day, I had to look this so called “family friend” in the face as he lied to my parents after the horrible things, he done to me.  Of course, they took his side because kids should be seen and not heard.  That’s a damn lie!  That was the old rule the new rule is that parents should take into consideration all that their children have to offer or say to them, because you could save a life not to mention restore faith in one.

Here is where it hurt the most when the very man or men that is born to protect you are the one that is violating your very being.  Fathers, Uncles, Grandfathers, Brothers, Nephews, or Cousins, that are there to do what we are black women think to protect us, are the same exact bastards that are doing the hurting.  The same ones trying to also do the protecting from others finding out their little secret, is the cowards that I don’t have love for at all.  You know exactly who they are? They are the touchy, feely, and inappropriate family members who says everything violating in a joke, but be the only ones thinking it’s funny.

They are the ones who protect you from other predators because they want to be your first and only predators. How the fuck, do you type of coward’s sleep at night or hold your heads up in the communities, or at family gatherings knowing what you are doing to family is wrong?  You know what is more fucked up is that other family member before you have experienced this bull shit and instead of protecting you from it, they turn their head and be glad it is no longer happening to them.  In all honesty you are just as worse as the predator himself.  But I can’t bug because some of the parents; “mothers”, be knowing that this going on.  Know how I know because they are the Bitches that sent them your way.  All because they didn’t want to lose something or for it to continue to happen to them.  Why is this a life choice when in fact these mother fuckers, needs to be locked away or castrated so they can no longer hurt anyone.  But I have to wonder if this is what happened to them and someone turned their heads on them.  Oh yeah it did, when “coward ass master” was rapping our men and taking their manhood without a fight for life and a decent living.  The violation started long before we could get our heads wrapped around it.

If you can say that you are a Man that never raped a woman, I give you the utmost respect and send you my humblest love.  That’s only if you can honestly say so!  But let’s be clear that isn’t the only way to violate a woman and rape her of her being is sexually, there is mental, and physical as well.  So, if you never violated a woman sexually, but have whipped her ass a time or two then you are no better than the pedophile who have sexual desecrated her soul.  In fact, you may as well have raped her, because either way you have left a mark on her and her psyche that cannot be removed.  What King beats his Queen like a peasant?  Oh, he doesn’t, he is her everything and will kill anyone who violate her and her mind.  So, when your child/ren come to you and say something has happened look into it.  Go to war for your child/ren.

Sending you all kisses and love. #GoddessLove

The Family Bond! Chapter 3…Segment 3.

Goddess morning Royals. First give praise and worship to the all High.

We have nothing!!

We have nothing to give our children, to leave with them to carry on the family name.  Where is our dignity and decency, courage, and love for our children and ourselves to leave to our children?  Family is all we have, but it’s better than anything we need.  The black family legacy is what our people need to build a better world for our kind.  Stand strong, stand as one, stand for love, life, laughter, and togetherness; “society doesn’t win.  Now woman are the bread winners of the household and doing both jobs, well at least trying to do both.

Growing up with my father in my house meant restriction but as soon as he was no longer there, I kind of got out of control.  Doing as I pleased and staying out all night for days.  Now mind you he was an addict but he wasn’t to be played with as a man or a father.  He whipped ass and asked questions later.  I received all the ass whippings my siblings didn’t get.  If homework needed to be done and I didn’t help them then I got my ass whipped.  He told me it was because I am the oldest, and I should always help my little sisters and brothers in anything they may need.  He told me that I was to help them with everything, and I tried my best to do it all after while I just did it as second nature.

When I turned sixteen, my parents were really in bad shape and was no longer able to care for us but with all I learned and did as well as overcame, I stepped up and took on that responsibility, not sure if I had it in me, but I pushed.

It wasn’t easy but we persevered.  We fought and cried our way through but we did it together.  I wanted so bad to give up and admit defeat, but I couldn’t because who else would they have to support them.  As a woman, I knew that my family was the most important thing to me, but I made a lot of mistakes.  I gave those who needed me most, almost the same treatment I received as child, I was angry, hostile, cruel, unjust, disrespectful and hateful.  I love my siblings but I also had so much rage within me

I have been growing and learning where I have hurt and discourage.  I am therapeutically cleansing myself, but I now I need more time and help.  Without any help, I know I done what I can, but without our father in our lives like a man should, I also know there were a lot missing.

But what I knew most is that without our mother, loving, caring, and nurturing soul we weren’t going to be as strong.  We really needed her but she was gone.  The streets had her completely.  We had no choice but to come together as one and do the best we could.  We survived but we didn’t really make it.  We may be alive but, in a way, we are dead.  I’m trying to bring us to life but I can’t do it all by myself.  Now that they are grown with children of their own, they need to want to live as a family.  We as blacks need this.

Our goals must change as well as our mindset.  We are not perfect but we also aren’t even trying.  We’re not trying for better, instead we’re only looking out for number one.  Yes, I know you all think this is the way but think of the consequences when we are in this mindset.  We breed haters, people who want what you have and will kill to get it.  No, their mindset is not to work harder to get what you have but to take a quicker route and just take what you have.

We as mothers are burying to many of our children because of these predators, and our children are their prey.  Why do it have to be like this from the start?  We as black people have no love for the next black man or woman.  Our children are so confused about their lives and purpose upon this planet that they take the wrong paths.  Once on those paths we as strong black women need to sit our young men and women down and guide them to a new and different path, or we will continue planning funerals.

If our men aren’t going to step up to the plate then we as loving and caring mothers need to do so.  We cannot keep allowing this act of genocide to continue.  If it does there will be no black men left on this planet to produce a child, no one to carry on a legacy or family name. 

Moment of truth: Strong black women are being murdered by weak miserable men.  Our babies barely old enough to speak are being beaten and abandoned by both selfish ass mothers and fathers because they are unsure of the love they should give to the child.  Predators are moving in on black women’s children, they themselves aren’t aware of their abuse and sexuality.  They rather inflict pain on someone else because someone forgot to protect them from their attackers.

Now we have these women and men who have contracted HIV/AIDS but will not protect the spread of this horrible disease.  Why?  They figured no one protected them, but what they fail to realize is it’s the price you pay for not protecting yourself.  Love making is not about fucking raw, but about the connection between two people.  Yes, we all are guilty of this act at least once, twice or maybe continuously but it is a choice to protect or not to protect ourselves. We have to teach our children through actions as well as doing what we already preached. If not, the streets will teach them whatever and who are we to blame, but ourselves.

Keep in mind that all actions have a reaction whether good or bad.  When choosing raw sex, consequences are pregnancy, disease, death, incurables disease and a sense of loss.  No raw sex does not keep a man, woman nor do a baby.  Remember this if he/she is fucking you raw he/she is fucking the next one raw as well.  Be smarter and love yourself more.

Sending you all love and kisses. #GoddessLove

The Family Bond! Chapter 3…Segment 2.

Goddess morning Royals. First, give praise and worship to the all High.

How fucked up do we have to be to know there is a home for him and continue like it doesn’t matter.  Our responsibilities to ourselves has be to in question at this point.  Why are we allowing this to happen to us?  What has gone so wrong in our life where we think this is a good idea?  How many other women have he done this to since his relationship has soured?  Are we this desperate for a companionship to allow this to go further?  When are we going to step our lives up and be more than a side piece?  How much do we really value our lives?  Is this what we want for our children; our sons to dog women like so, or for our daughters to be dogged like so?

Once we can answer these questions honestly, then we are ready for the next step in our lives.  Getting to know who we really are and what we want from our husbands could help us in choosing and making better decision about our relationships.  We will no longer think on a scale of boyfriends, side men, lovers, one-night stands but as long-term life partners, husbands.  For we are women who deserves to be treated like so by our married Kings; no not married to another Queen but to us.

Some people expectations are different and some have other Queens but the fact remains, just be the only one.  If your man/woman isn’t loyal then dethrone them.  Remember wait for your King because the Higher Power only really sends you one.  All the others are imposters, playing a role, but you must be the writer, director, producer, and narrator of your story, if not then you yourself will just play a part in a role not fit for you.  I guarantee you will not like the ending!

Look at it like this, life is a movie.  You can make it short and sweet or you can make it long with twists and turns to keep the audience (on lookers) guessing.  The cast is your choice but remember there is always a price for the more actors you put in place.  Being the director of your life as well as the producer means when the movie isn’t cast as you want you can change the people.  When it’s not written to your pleasure you can rewrite the script and when it’s not being played out in your favor redirect your characters.  This mean that you will lose some friends and family, but remember it’s your life so plan it accordingly.

People you do have the power to change so do it, you do have the will to live differently and the strength to help change others.  We know better so why don’t we as a black race do better.  Our mental capacity is blocked by the world’s and “society’s” chaos.  We give “society” to much credit for all their materialistic crap and then follow suit.  What we haven’t figure out just yet is that “society” cannot survive without us.

All the money we spend and all the trouble our kind get into feeds “society,” putting food on their tables, and their children through those Ivy League schools.  So technically we are their bread winners.  We still make and take care of them and deny our own.  The worst part is when one of us makes it we all are supposed to make it, but we don’t.  The one’s who makes it give “society” all their praise but leave their own kind behind to starve.  The one thing they do know is that without the less fortunate or the little people they wouldn’t have achieved anything, but we get stepped on. 

We as women have been putting up with “society’s” and black men bull shit since the beginning.  We know we are the back bone to the household without our strength the black man would fall.  What we see today is a lack of black women standing behind the black man because they are fed up.  We now stand in front or alone because the black man has fallen and felt hard.  As a black woman, I cannot standby and allow any of my black men to continue to fall.  If we as black women would learn to pick them up when they fall, they will be grateful but only if those single women stay out of your way.  Single ladies be alert for their own King; everything will go accordingly.  I must try to stand him up and uplift his spirits and motivate his mind, believe in his ability to do better than what he has shown me.

If I am of his “rib” then when he fails, I fail and I don’t believe in failure.  No more, when he fails, I am to give him life and restore what has caused the failure.  I shall not criticize nor ridicule him of his manhood or his mistakes.

C – Cast aside his strength, tries and abilities.

A – Abuse them mentally, and physically

S – Sexual denial of his woman from her man, please.

T – Testimony of his/her betrayal afterwards

R – Referencing negativity repeatedly.

A – Afraid of responsibilities for your actions.

T – Torment and taunt the soul when it’s fragile.

E – Embellish the truth to stay faced.

Now is the time to stand up and tell our men, son, brothers, and fathers, be a man and take your throne back.  I will fight by your side but only for the right reason.  I can no longer ride or die for you for negative or unproductive shit.  Tell them you are going to die alone and for nothing because you have nothing, no morals, values, self-respect and now no life.

Sending you all kisses and love. #GoddessLove

The Family Bond! Chapter 3…Segment 1.

Goddess morning Royals. First, give praise and worship to the all High.

Chapter 3.  The Strength of the Black Woman to Carry on in His Absence

While we know women are nurturers by nature some missed that gene.  Mother’s on the other hand stand up to a different level, especially if they are single parents.  Yes, I know that there are a lot of mothers that pass their young off to more mature women but still mothers nonetheless.  Yes, we know there are plenty of women/mothers that need the village to aid them but are scared to ask for help.  They live in fear that they will be damn or criticize by those who are there to help not judge. 

G – Growing up is hard especially if they aren’t ready.

I – Information need to help develop their growth, mature their bodies, and educate their minds.

R – Rally with single mothers as a support system

L – Love thy sister from another mother as you love thy sister from the same mother, do not demeanor her.

S – Support the changes they/we all go through as women.

We must be ready for the next step in life not only for ourselves but for the gifts, the Higher Power blessed us with.  Educating them to achieve more than what we have to offer, but with morals, and values.  Embrace them with all that you have, all that they need, and more.  Give them of yourself as you wanted someone to give of themselves to you.  Understand I do mean mentally, emotionally, financially, spiritually, solely, and most of all do it all with love and warmth. 

I know you didn’t bring this child in this world by yourself but if you allow the village to help then you won’t raise them alone.  When a mother was taken from a child during slavery days do you think the other mothers turned their backs on that child?  No, they embraced that child as their own and taught their children that we all are as one; everyone is a part of this family.  We must stand together in order to stand against the oppressed “society.”   How do we discontinue the conditions of the households now?  Families are torn away from one another, mothers burying their sons and daughters, because of the lack family values.  The disrespect for life is unbearable.

G – Generally, a disregard for all life.

E – Enemies of our own race, culture, and heritage.

N – Navigating people destinies by difficult decisions for the family

O – Overriding Gods plans, the audacity

C – Consider karma because someone is gunning for you as well

I – Improve quality of life not by murdering though

D – Depriving mothers of their children and people of a future.

E – Enclosed in their own hell.

Do a man knows when he leaves his home vulnerable the next man will show his real intentions, whether they are good or otherwise.  A real woman will do what she must do to support her family.  You know the one you left behind to fend for herself, so don’t be mad or call her names when her only line of defense has abandoned her.

W – Won’t take no or nothing from her child/ren

O – Own up to her responsibilities

M – Multi-task while keeping her sanity

E – Evolves with times to keep up with her child/ren but not changing her status as a mother

N – Never negotiate nor debate about rules set in her home.

What has it come to when women in their middle ages are trying to keep up with the young mothers; its tiring.  They have abandoned their maturity to impress or convince themselves they aren’t getting old.  Instead of denying it, we as elderly women need to embrace it as well as spread the wisdom, we have gain in this life time.  Experienced women should be more than grateful to having knowledge and advantages, they should share it with others.  Getting old isn’t embarrassing it is encouraging, because at the rate our young men and women are going, they will never experience getting old nor accumulating wisdom.

For all these women who had or is enduring the company of someone else’s man, remember your still single.  No matter how much time he spends with you, he is still with her.  Also remember that if he does decide to give her up for you, how he found you and his patterns will lead him to the next woman the same way.  Stop being a side piece, it isn’t special, it is embarrassing.   I know he treat you different, but its only because you don’t demand much.  Your wants are well within his range, but as soon as you want more, he’ll leave, because now it feels to him like a relationship.

He’s already in a relationship which he’s not faithful in so what make you think he wants another one so he can cheat on two women at once, he already uncommitted to the first don’t need any more of that.  That’s like paying for two homes and not living in either one.  Now I said they were broken not stupid!  They are scared to be real men and as soon as it feels unfamiliar to them, they want a way out.  This leave a strong woman to pick up the slack for a absent man again.  Instead of trying to process the situation they rather just run from it.  Calling you all kinds of names, disrespecting your whole being like you are no longer a human.  I know the pickings are slim but we all can’t have a good man, some of us need a broken man so we can rebuild him just for us.

We as women, then crawl into a shell like we didn’t play a part in our own hurt, well come on we did!  We set ourselves up from the beginning.  We allow ourselves to believe we are better than what he has at home or why else would he be with us.  The truth is because he’s a coward and we just became his shield, shelter, a safe-haven for his ego and manhood.  Well not really his manhood, because if he was really a man then he wouldn’t be out trolling for someone to improve it.  But, ladies he’s not the only problem, we need to take blame as well.

Sending you all kisses and love. #GoddessLove